The Letter
by Twenty2Point8
Summary: My notepad is filled with half written letters. But all of these letters are to him. Rory's thoughts after the kiss. My first Fanfic. Disclaimer: Not mine
1. Chapter 1

**A/N - Hi, this is my first fanfic ever so i apologize if this is really crap, and if there are any spelling and grammar errors. **

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My notepad is filled with half written letters; no not even half, most of them only have a few words written on them. But all of these letters are to _him_.

All to the guy that my breath away. To the guy that when I see him with that smirk on his face, my heart beats so fast I think my chest might break. To the guy that when I hear his name it brings a smile to my face, or I actually start paying attention to what there saying, most of what they say isn't very nice but then again he isn't nice to anyone. But me.

But all that didn't matter because I had Dean. Perfect. Sweet. Boring. Predicable. Jealous. Dean.

Why have I stayed with Dean for so long? Why didn't I stop things with him when I started to like Jess? Did I ever really love Dean? I care about him sure but love I don't think so, I think I just told him that because I wasn't ready to give him up yet. Then I met Jess. He saw right through my relationship with Dean, he knew right away that we didn't match, why couldn't anyone else see that? Why didn't I see that? I just don't get it. Every time I talked to Jess he would get mad, and jealous.

OK I get the reason why Dean kept getting mad when I spent time with Jess. At first we were just friends then it grow into something more, and Dean could see that. But I couldn't even have a friend that was a guy, because he would get jealous. Take Tristan, we weren't even friends at first he was just a guy that would annoy me; we did become friendly before he left for military school. But none of that mattered to Dean.

Dean has done some great things for me like he took me to the school dance when we first started dating, or when he came with me for that stupid coming out ball. But Dean doesn't get me. My love of books, music, school, or movies that I love to mock. But he does because he shares my passion and love for books, music, and movies, he doesn't love school, but he gets why I love it. Dean never did.

I saw him at Sookie's wedding, and I kissed him then ran away. I had to spend the day being happy for my friend, while I was with my boyfriend who I had fallen out of love with.

That was hard.

The next day I left for DC for school for 6 weeks (2 weeks down 4 to go) and I never spoke to him. This is why I'm writing a letter- well trying to write a letter.

I'm pathetic I have been writing this letter for two weeks and all I have is two words.

_Dear Jess._

Don't think just write.

_Dear Jess_

_That took two weeks to write, I didn't know if it should be To Jess, Jess, Dear Jess, or Dodger._

_Well if it took two weeks to write two words this letter might take a month to write. Then I haveto come up with the courage to send it, so you might not receive this letter until I'm already back in Stars Hollow(I hope I do send it because you deserve to know the truth). I should just call and explain everything but I'm too much of a chicken for that. _

_I'm sorry that I ran away. I'm sorry for leaving for DC for 6 weeks without telling you. I'm sorry for the way Dean's been treating you. I'm sorry for the way my mom has been acting towards you. Hell I'm sorry for the way the towns been acting. I'm sorry for a lot of things but what I'm not sorry for kissing you I've wanted to kiss you for a long time. I think the first time was when you jumped into my sleigh when we all stayed at the Inn. When an over done snowman was mysteriously destroyed so that mine and mom's snow woman could win (I know it was you, thank you for that). No I think it was before that. I remember the first time I wanted to kiss you it was when I gave you the nick name Dodger. Wow that seems like a long time ago doesn't it, but like it was yesterday all at the same time. Do you know what I mean?_

_When we kissed I have never felt like that before not with Dean (I don't think I really loved him). Not with Tristan (I cried when I kissed him, don't ask). _

_Do you remember when I came to New York to see you? You asked me why I came. I said because you didn't say goodbye._

_I lied._

_You asked me and I paused and I thought to my self why did I ditch school to come to New York just to spend time with a guy that wasn't even my guy? Then it hit me I was falling in love with you. But I said, because you didn't say goodbye. _

_Then a week later at Sookie's wedding there you were staying their wearing that stupid smirk, (which I love BTW) and all those feelings hit me (love, joy, hope, happiness, shock) I couldn't hide them any longer. So that's why I kissed you. But then of course I freaked I remembered that I was a bridesmaid at a wedding that was about to start- and oh yeah Dean._

_What I want to know is why did you come back? You hate Stars Hollow. Why do you want to live in a place that you hate?_

_Now I know that you might not have any feeling for me, and I completely understand if you don't, but I just needed you to know._

_Don't think that I'm going to forget about you. _

_I don't think I could or would want to._

_All my love_

_Rory._

_P.S I broke up with Dean the day I left._

_I hope it's not all over town and you found out by over hearing Miss Patty gossiping._

I can't believe I wrote a letter telling "Stars Hollow's Bad Boy" Jess Mariano my feelings. Oh My God what I'm I thinking I can't send this. Maybe I should just call him tell him I'm sorry then hang up and not see him until I get home. Yeah that could work-NO you are sending this letter.

I fold the letter and put it in an envelope with his name and address on it.

"I'm going to post this letter I'll be back shortly" I tell Paris as I'm walking out the door, she yells some kind of response but I can't make it out.

Now all I have to do is put it in the box, I don't know how long I've been standing here holding the letter telling myself to just post it. After about 5 more minutes I tell myself don't think just do.

The hard parts over, now all I have to do is wait.

Wait.

Maybe the hard part isn't over.


	2. Jess' thoughts

**A/N Ok so this was supposed to be a one-shot, but my reviewers convinced me to continue. **

**I'd like to thank ****Curley-Q and kylielink, for reviewing****.**

I'm trying to read some book I have no idea what it's about. Everything reminds me of her. She kisses me then runs away, tells me not to say anything (which of course I get with Dean and all). What am I suppose to think?

The next day I'm at the diner thinking she has to come for her coffee fix. So I wait then her mom comes in without her for her coffee. Where is she? Is she avoiding me? Does she regret kissing me? Did the kiss remind her that she's in love with bag boy? God I hope not. Doesn't she realize what she means to me?

Well you never told her so it is a possibility.

I over hear Luke and Lorelai talking. "What I'm I going to do Luke, 6 weeks without Rory! I hate that Paris made her do this. Her school is so annoying. Why did she have to go to DC? Why? Luke Why?" She keeps rambling but I don't pay any attention. Rory left for DC for 6 weeks without so much as a goodbye, see you later. Well I never said goodbye when I left either, so I guess were even.

Should I ask Lorelai for her number? No she wouldn't give it to me. Maybe I should ask Luke to ask Lorelai. Yeah right like Luke would do that! I could ask Lane, or maybe even Dean. NO I will never ask Lane, or Dean. I'll wait and see if she contacts me, if she doesn't I'm going to have to find away to forget about her.

Please don't let it come to that. I never want to forget. How could anyone forget her?

Just over two weeks have past and nothing. I over hear Lorelai at the diner telling anyone that asks about Rory. About how she doing, what she's doing and when she will return, and how Lorelai herself is coping without her. Every morning I pretend not to pay attention, pretend not to care that I'm here and she's not. Try to pretend that it's not ripping me up in side that I can't see her beautiful smile, or not know what book she reading, or not seeing her look on her face when she is about to drink coffee. I want her to look at me like that. Like I'm all she needs to get through the day, with pure happiness on her face. She did look at me like that once before she kissed me. What I wouldn't give to see her face like that again. I'd happily give away all the books in the world, just to see her again looking at me like that. But of course I am Jess Mariano town bad boy I don't really deserve her to look at me like that, and she does have bag boy. He doesn't deserve her either. Why can't things be easy? But I guess if things were always easy, nothing would be.

Luke yells at me to get the mail. Normally I wouldn't but Luke did let me move me back here so I have been doing things he asks. Well only for a few more weeks.

I get the mail; I see if there is anything for me. I don't expect there will be but you never know.

Then I see it a letter addressed to me in her handwriting. I drop the rest of the mail and sit on my bed my hands are shaking as I turn the envelope over to open it.

I open up the letter and begin to read. _Dear Jess_

I laugh at the fact that it took her two weeks to come up with how to address the letter to me. She was thinking addressing it Dodger I can't believe she remembers that.

I finish reading the letter, and then I begin to re read the letter just to make sure I read it right. Within ten minutes I've read the letter twenty times or more.

She loves me, in this letter written to me she tells me she loves me. Rory Gilmore loves Jess Mariano. And that she broke up with Dean. But she also says that she could understand if I didn't have the same feeling for her. Is she serious?

I find a pen a paper to write back to her.

_Dear Rory_

_That only took me 3 seconds to write._

_I'm so thankful that you didn't chicken out, because then I wouldn't get to tell you that I feel the same way._

_I don't want you to be sorry for the way people treat me, I bring most of it on myself._

_I didn't know what to think when we kissed, and then when you let. But I know it must have been hard for you to realize that you fallen out of love with Dean. You come to terms with your feeling for me and that you'd probably never see me again. But of course I don't follow with that plan. I show up and you can't pretend any longer. _

_The night of Dodger was the first time I wanted to kiss you also. Sometime wish I would have. But that might have changed our friendship for the worst. Besides good things take time right? _

_You asked why I'd come back to Stars Hollow? To a town that I hate, let's just say that a beautiful young woman lives there, and perhaps it's not that bad. _

_You._

_I came back for you. You just show up in New York, I couldn't not see you again. I had to come back. _

_These past few weeks have been hell, to see your mom in the diner without you. Plus not knowing why you did what you did. _

_I'm glad you don't want to forget about me. I could never forget about you. Ever_

_I was actually surprised when I got to the end of the letter; you broke up with Dean (finally). Nobody has said anything I guess he wants to keep it quite._

_What does all this mean for us?_

_Missing you_

_With love, you're Dodger._

_P.S What snowwoman? _

I read the letter I just wrote, it doesn't even sound like me. But then again I'm better at writing than talking. I have changed a lot since I met Rory, maybe this is the new me I haven't met yet. This is the Jess that has and loves Rory.

I put the letter in an envelope and write her address and name on it, I get it ready to send. I leave the diner Luke doesn't notice he's too busy flirting with Lorelai. I go to the post office and send the letter.

I go to 'our' bridge. I didn't bring a book with me like I normally do; I just sit here and think, about her.

Couple of hours later I figure Luke will need my help with the dinner rush, so I head back and bump into Dean, I go to say something mean, an d hurtful as usual, but I see the look on his face. It's a look of sadness and hurt. I recognize this look because only a few hours ago I was wearing the same one. Even though I hate him, there's nothing I can do to make him feel worse. He lost Rory. He's devastated, he took her for granted, thought she would always be by his side.

I just keep on walking, he's not worth it.

I'd won.

**A/N- Ah, Jess learnt a lesson.**

**I know Jess might be a bit OOC with the letter, but I figure he doesn't talk about his emotions or feelings so maybe he'd would when he wrote. **

**Oh and thanks again to my reviewers this chapter is for you. :)**


	3. He was smiling?

**A/N - ok so I'm a big push over, I get a review asking me continue and guess what 4 hours later I'm here posting it. So ChristieIsMisty2 this is for you.**

**Ghostwriter Curley-Q kylielink thank you for the reviews. And to everyone else who added me to their favourite story and alerts.**

**Disclaimer; Not mine.**

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RPOV

"For Pete sake Gilmore, will you please get out of this funk you've been in for the last few days?! You will not ruin this for me!" Paris yells at me.

"Sorry Paris I'll try my best, not to ruin this for you." I reply sarcastically. _Great now I'm talking like him._ I look over at her and send her apologetic smile. "Really Paris I am sorry I'm in this "Funk" as you call it."

"I need you at your best" she responds. "I know, and again I'm sorry. I - I'm just" I trail of not knowing what to say. "I'll try, and I won't let this affect you or our work."

It's been a few days since I sent_ that_ letter to _him_. Paris is right I have been in a weird mood since I sent it. Maybe I shouldn't have sent, should I have waited till I got home and spoken to him face to face? Yeah right Rory, you would have chickened out and you know it. No it was a good thing I sent the letter. Now I don't have to look at his face when he reads the letter and hear him when he starts laughing out loud. But then, what happens if Kirk is the postman again, well Kirk being Kirk loses the letter and he hasn't gotten it! Ahh, I'm so screwed, I have no idea if sending this letter was good idea or a bad one.

Maybe I should tell Mom, I tell her everything well I normally tell her everything. She doesn't know I kissed Jess at the wedding. Great now I've been keeping things from my best friends. I have to tell her, right?

The only thing I know is that waiting was without doubt the hardest part.

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JPOV

"Jeez Jess watch where you're going, will ya. You almost collided with the counter." Luke exclaims.

"Sorry." I say and give the food to the person who ordered it.

"Hey are you ok?" Luke asks with a concerned look.

"What? I'm fine." I bark back. "Sorry, I didn't mean to take my bad mood out on you."

"Maybe you should take the day off Ceaser, and I have it covered."

"Ok." I pause before I walk out of the diner "Luke, thanks." I say and leave before he can reply.

I sent the letter I wrote two days ago, and ever since I've been in like a haze. I have no idea if she has received the letter or not. I miss her, I miss talking to her. I really need to know what books she reading!

Bloody hell I've gone completely insane, next thing you know I'll be having a conversation with Kirk!

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RPOV

"Independence Inn, Lorelai speaking."

"Hey Mom"

"Offspring how's my favourite daughter?"

"I'm ok, but I need to tell you something." I tell her everything from the Kiss to my feeling to the letter. "I'm so sorry mom I should have told you, but I was so confused and scared, well I'm still scared actually I haven't heard anything from him. Kirk's not the mailman is he?" _I was starting to hyperventilate. _

"Rory, calm down it's ok. I'm glad you told me I know it's hard to talk about this stuff. Are you calm yet?"

"I will be if you tell me if Kirk's is or is not the mailman."

"Kirk is not the mailman."

"Ok that means he has gotten the letter." _That's good right? _

"So Jess, huh?"

"I know you don't like him."

"No I don't, but you do. He gets one chance, and I'll be nicer to him, you know say hello and kill him if he hurts you."

"Thanks mom."

"But hey, you haven't heard from him yet so you never know this could be a pointless conversation."

"Mom your suppose to make me feel better about sending him the letter, not make me regret it more."

"I'm only joking. I've seen him at Luke's and he looks miserable, and for the past two days he keeps walking into things, and got a faraway look in his eyes. Luke said that he found him sitting their in a complete gaze, smiling at nothing. Smiling, Rory smiling. Ha guess we solved that mystery."

"He was smiling?"

After I finished my phone call, I immediately felt better.

"Rory I got the mail, I put yours on your bed. I'm going for a walk." Paris says as she leaves.

And sitting there on my bed was a letter, with _his_ hand writing. As I went to pick up the letter my hands began to shake.

It had been a few days since I relived Jess' letter, and found out his feeling for me. I was so happy that I couldn't stop smiling. Paris had actually asked if I was on drugs. After I read the letter, and got over the shock that Jess felt the same way. I called him I was so excited that I had no idea I wanted to say I went completely blank, and asked about the weather in Stars Hollow. Jess just laughed, and asked the question I was going to ask (I remembered as soon as he said it.)

What now? We decided to make it official, we were together.

So after talking with Jess, I rang mom and told her about Jess' letter and the phone call. She seems to be happy for me, so hopefully she will give him a chance and let us be happy.

I so couldn't wait to go home.

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**A/N - Ok, I do have another chapter half written. It deals with Jess telling Luke about him and Rory and Jess talking with Lorelai. And maybe a little home coming scene. Or I could just leave it and this is the end. **

**I don't want to keep dragging it out. **

**If you want me to post the other chapter please tell me in a review. **

**Thanks for taking the time to read this.- Sam. :) **


	4. Why did you say hello to Taylor?

**A/N – ok here is the last chapter. (For real this time) **

**Thank you wildfireandInstantstarlover, I-luv-jess-mariano, watergurl123 for reviewing. **

**And an extra special THANK YOU to Kylielink and Curley-Q for reviewing each chapter.*Claps***

**Thanks to everyone else who added me to their favourite story and alerts. And to the silent readers, it means a lot to me that you're taking your time to read my story, so thank you. **

**Disclaimer: Not mine. **

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JPOV

I got off the phone with Rory, and all I wanted to do was shout out to all of Luke's customers that Rory Gilmore was my girlfriend! The next day I was still on a high, and Luke became concerned with my attitude towards the customs.

"Jess?" Luke asks about an hour or so after I began my shift.

"Yeah" I say while filling someone coffee cup.

"Is something wrong?" I frown having no idea what he's talking about.

"No Luke, nothings wrong. Why?" I ask now curious to where this conversations going.

"Your being nice to the customers, you're happy, you were humming. You even said hello to Taylor!" I did? Huh.

"Really? Huh I hadn't noticed I can be mean to everyone if you want?" I replied truthfully, only with a tiny bit of sarcasm thrown in.

"No that's not what I want. I want you to tell me why? Why did you say HELLO to TAYLOR? TAYLOR of all people."

"I need to get back to work."

"Jess, just tell me."

"Rory."

"What about Rory? She's not even in town. "

"Really? Huh, the saying is true you do learn something new everyday." I pause and decide to tell him. "She my girlfriend ok, she broke up with bag boy before she left and now were together. Can I get back to work now?"

Luke just stood there, in shock I think for about ten minutes. Before he came up to me put his hand on my should and said "good for you Jess." And he went back to work. It was my turn to be in shock.

A few hours later, Luke was upstairs filling this orders. In the diner it was just me, Ceaser, and of course Kirk. Then Lorelai walks in and sits at the counter. As she sits down I automatically bring her a cup of coffee. "Here." I say while giving her the cup.

"Good service, I didn't even order it." She says with a small smile. I have no idea if I'm I suppose to pretend that I'm not dating her daughter or should I let her yell at me while she gives me the "don't hurt my only daughter" speech. Might as well get it over with.

"Listen Lorelai, I know I'm not good enough for her, I know that you will personally kill me if I hurt her, and I know that Luke will be next in line waiting to kill me. I know how lucky I am that she even looked at me. But you have to know something, I love her. I have never loved anyone. She is important to me and I will never intentionality hurt her. I know you don't like me, and that's fine, but it matters to Rory so I'm going to try and be nicer. I also know that this is the most you've heard me talk, but this is a one time only thing." I get through my speech calmly which is kinda surprising.

Lorelai looks at me like she trying if I'm lying. "Ok, I told Rory that I'm going give you a chance and be nicer. But you only get one chance and when I say one I mean one." She pauses for a second. "If you hurt her then yes I will kill you. I don't trust you but I thrust my daughter. Thank you for the coffee, and the talk." She smiles before leaving. "Oh one more thing please be carful with her, she has a bright future and I don't want you and anything else standing in her way."

"I think she means a baby" Kirk states a few minutes after Lorelai left. Crap forgot Kirk was still here. "What?"

"Lorelai said she didn't want you or ANYTHING standing in the way of her future. Plus she said be careful. So I think she means a baby. It's just, you were looking kinda confused." At that moment Luke came from down stairs. "Kirk, can you leave for a minute please, food on the house today." Kirk all but ran out the door. "How much did you hear?" I ask.

"All of it. You were right I will be next in line after Lorelai."

"I know Luke."

"Is it true? About how you love her?"

"I'm only going to say this once. Everything I said to Lorelai is true, yes I love her. No I won't hurt her; I'm not good enough for her. But I'm going to try to be good enough." I say to Luke while looking at him straight in the eye. "Ok." He replies.

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RPOV

**3 weeks later.**

I hung up the phone after the conversation with mom about her dream. How I hated my father right now, I mean even after everything I've never hated him but right now hate is coursing though my body. I have no idea, how I'm gonna deal with this situation when the time comes.

After I finished helping Paris get ready for her date with Jamie, and her stuffing me in the closet. I rang Jess. "Luke's" I heard Jess's voice, wow did his voice always sounded so – sexy, I couldn't remember. "Hey Jess, how are you?"

"Hi Rory, I'm great now how are you?" _yep his voice definitely sounded sexy._

"I'm good, but for about 1o minutes Paris made me stay in the closet."

"Um ok, why?"

"Who know its Paris."

"Of course, I properly should just go with it instead of being confused."

"That would make it a lot easier. Ok so when I get home will you meet me at the bridge?" We talked for about half an hour and made plans for Friday.

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**Friday**

I'm finally home, I'm finally home.

I hung out with mom at the summer madness festival before I had to meet Jess. But I couldn't concentrate. "Just go already would ya." Mom says

"Thanks mom, I'll see you later."

I half walked half ran to the bridge. When I got their he was sitting feet dangling over the edge. His legs weren't long enough to skim the water. I couldn't make my self walk over to him. Jess just sitting their, book in hand he looked perfect. But curiosity won over and I had to know what book he was reading. I gasped when I saw the cover '_the fountainhead'_, He turned towards me and smiled. "I'm trying again; I still think its shit." I walk over to where he was sitting and sit in his lap. "You're perfect. Thank you." I say before kissing him.

An hour later and we hadn't moved much I was still in this lap, his arms holding me tightly.

I didn't know what the future would bring, but right now, none of it mattered. Not my father. Not about the reaction of the town. Or even my grandparent's comments. Or the first time we would run into Dean.

This is where I'm supposed to be, in his arms. I brush my lips over his left arm and kiss him softly.

"I love you." Jess says as he kiss' my head **(A/N Like in Happy birthday baby)**

"Love you too."

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**A/N – Ok so that's it, I hope you enjoyed the story. I had fun writing this. **

**Oh I just love Kirk so I had to add him in this chapter. And how Luke hates Taylor, it always makes me smile. **

**Thanks for reading- Sam, :)**


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